Last Impression
by CrimsonAnjel
Summary: Taito... A story about teenagers, friends, lovers, mistakes... And what kind of dreams Yamato has at night to trigger it all.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This may sound completely cliché, but I thought of the idea for this story while I was sitting at my computer randomly one day. See? Random thoughts do create wonderful things. Here is the manifestation of that. Enjoy!

**Summary of content: **Taichi x Yamato - Yamato x Taichi.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Digimon...

**Warnings For This Chapter: **Some strong language (A.K.A. Cuss/curse words)… (I guess the rating system has changed now?)

**Last Impressions:**

**Chapter 1**

**By: CrimsonAnjel**

The fire in my heart is out and I am just a walking wonder. It is blatant to me, as the blurry scene surrounding me, that I am where I most dread to be. I am facing things I shouldn't see, but its not as if I can't become this way, so my body makes the decision for me and I am rolled head first into this emotion.

Saving me from this world of undefined materials is like moving a stoic mountain with a small twig as one's tool… So I walk on in fear, pursuing something more definable that may be just around the corner; something more concrete and standing.

The earthly colors swishing around in jagged shapes past my frozen face give only slight flashes of the reality I'm used to; I can only continue to walk on, standing on this ground below me, standing _my _ground even as shaky as I am inside—or is it outside?

Cold sweat makes rows of beads upon my hot/cold flushed skin, adulating my senses and dulling them just the same. I feel a steady pace at my feet as the colors are becoming more blunt and realistic, giving me a reason to press on so that I might reach my reality in the nick of time. And it brings no comfort to see these colors forming into shapes of what may be in front of me… I dread the road ahead as I feel something almost watching me with a calculating, sadistic stare as I run and run with lungs dry and screaming. Something is there indeed, urging me on with shell-shaped promises only to eventually reveal the broken truth… I am lost.

The uneven ground of dirt below begins to recede at a fast pace, enshrouding the sky around me with those colors ever so vibrantly and then creeping away into a more level, smooth gray floor, taking along with it the colors I had begun to trust as the only thing stable in this world. Why is it all becoming gray! It all feels so chillingly wrong to me! I can plainly here the dull thump of the metal flooring below me signaling my every desperate step; but what is my destination? Where am I headed? ...The squared walls of pulsating gray, and looming shapeless forms box me in, the ceiling only gets smaller and smaller the further I go. It seems to me as if there is only exit possible; one insurmountable pin-hole at the end of this wretched roadway instead of the quintessential tunnel I had been hoping for.

I can't understand what I am supposed to do, so I scream and holler at the top of my lungs like a madman with hope as my underlying reasoning, only to hear nothing escape out of my parched throat except labored gasps and shrill sounding cries. I felt the pulsing of the hallway spread into me like a living parasite—god my muscles ache! My head feels like it is going to burst!

I can't take this death-defying game anymore! I have no strategy! I have no way out! I don't understand why I'm here! There is no reason for me to be running with such vigor and fear--I have nothing to hide from, no mistakes to repent for! Get me the _fuck _out of here! I KNOW I DON'T DESERVE THIS!

And then darkness… All the colors and grays disappear and fizzle out and I am left alone with nothing below me to hold me to my place and nothing around me to give any reference of where I stand. And this feels so good to me. It feels so perfect when I'm away from the mayhem.

I can feel a warm breeze beginning to encase me soothingly, even in the blackness and absence of tangible things to accredit it to, I am level. I can feel so smoothly a shift move me ever so slowly, like a gear changing in a car or a color shifting spectrums. And without any grand crescendo--there is white, a blast of it in fact that knocks me backwards with its colossal strength and size, feeling as a super-nova going through me and cleaning out every shred or pipe or shaft within me that has a doubt or is painted black. It is almost like I'm being cleansed in a shower as if I'm getting good and ready for the arrival of something important… Something new…

Something you.

WHO!

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

"AH!"

The small frame of a blonde boy awoke with a shivering flash. The dark room around him suited his lonely mood as he took survey of his surroundings with shaky eyes. The white sheets were wrapped around his frame so tightly that the once flowing circulation in his legs became painfully cut off.

The boy's skin paled even more as he looked down upon his body and noticed all the sweat lining in beads, damping the tightly drawn sheets. An involuntary cold shiver ran down his back like a million spiders as he slowly unfolded himself from the intruding covers. And even after many moments of looking around in a post-dream daze, the boy could not shake the terror he felt within about not knowing for the time whether he was alive or dead.

One thing was for sure, and it enveloped his shivering form in a split second of realization----he had been dreaming again.

But there was no time to comprehend or think about the situation at hand as the boy saw another form above him shift slowly in his direction. He knew that this wasn't the best place or time to be having another one of his dream fits; but he couldn't help it. It pained him to have to show this weakness, especially in the presence of his best friend. But some things just couldn't be helped, so with a sigh, the boy nodded at his friend who now lay propped on one arm in a daze, half-awake state.

"Hey Yama, are you ok? You look like total shit…"

Yamato kept his hand over his face as he took in ragged breaths, still managing to look on at his friend as if everything was fine. It did sooth him slightly to hear his best friend, Tai, use the pet name only he could use. His full name was Yamato, but everyone but his parents called him Matt.

"Yeah Tai, I'm cool... Just a horrible dream I guess." The shadow of Tai, even darker than Matt because of his skin tone, sat up in bed gingerly and stretched in an irritated motion as anyone would when they are woken from rest unexpectedly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you are... You know, ever since you went off the medication these nightmares of yours have been happening more and more often, Yama… But since I'm up already, and feeling _great_ I'll go get you some aspirin." Tai yawned openly as if to add emphasis to the fact that he was cranky and creaked out of bed like a zombie towards the bathroom across the hall. Matt was glad he already had his hand in place over his face when Tai arose because even in the dim light of the room he could make out the only piece of clothing his friend wore to bed clinging suggestively to his perfect ass as if it were made to fit his curve. It didn't help that Tai walked automatically with a sexy swagger that further drew in the blonde's hungry eyes.

Matt hating thinking these thoughts and cursed himself for even going in that direction; but when hormones got involved, his mind literally had a mind of its own. It wasn't anything he was worried about and every day he shrugged it off as simple teenage hormones driving him to stare in wonder at the boy who was close enough to him to be his brother.

Shrugging, Matt lay himself back down against the hardwood floor. He never minded sleeping on the hard surface and was now even more grateful for its presence as he curled up into a ball and attempted futilely to uncover the receding dream that had woken him up in such a disoriented state. His frozen mind barely had a minute to wander aimlessly before the half-asleep brunette padded back into the room with a tall glass of water and a few white pills in his hand.

"Here, drink this water and swallow these." The blonde frowned at his friend as if he was telling the weatherman the forecast.

"Really? I thought I drink the pills and swallow the water?" Tai rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm sure it was just some boogey-man thing that disturbed you, don't sweat it—at least, not any more than you already have. Man, those sheets are soaking! Here use these." Tai walked over to the foot of his bed and ripped out his own sheets and replaced them for the sweaty ones. Matt would've protested the kind act, but as soon as the sheets fell on his shoulders he could smell the spicy scent of Tai lingering on them like a euphoric cinnamon that had a scent of its own that was so—Tai.

"But dude, try toning down the screaming and rolling around next time. That was what woke _me _up, and mom is right below us. Maybe I should buy you a seatbelt?" Tai grinned at his clever remark. Matt wasn't impressed. And he underline that fact he made his usual "tch" sound and reassumed his usual persona as he take the pills and water from the grinning fool in front of him.

"Go back to sleep _grandpa_, I'm fine. And by the way, we have to save up our energy remember? The competition is tomorrow, and _you _are our best skater." Tai shrugged and sat—rather bounced onto his bed above and got settled once more.

"Whatever… I get like, 5—maybe 6 hours of sleep on any given night? Come on, you know that. I'll be just fine tomorrow to carry your sorry asses to victory!" Matt had to laugh at that ridiculous crap. Those types of comments were what reminded him of Tai so much. The boy never ceased to amaze him with his elated ego at any hour of the day.

"Don't push the compliment, Superman. As recall, _I'm _the one who lands the 540's consistently, not you----champ." Tai snorted and puffed out his proverbial chest.

"HA! Betcha can't grind the street course rail like I can---50-50 all the way down the rail, baby! And who was it that ollied down an eight-set at last years competition? Please, tell me, I'd like to know—really!" Tai proceeded to raise his hand in mock triumph—like an idiot.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up and go back to bed you egomaniacal freak. I for one need my beauty sleep to perform."

"Minus the beauty part of course."

"I am definitely hotter than you, asshole!"

"Pretty boy!"

"Insomniac!"

"Prick!"

"Fucktard!"

"Fag!"

That was the end of that. Matt winced at the last insult and rolled over in a huff… They always had silly insult battles; and it still irked Matt just the same every time Tai used the word 'fag' or 'gay' to be synonymous with 'stupid'. After that number he shut up and closed his wary eyes in wait for some more much needed sleep.

'Fag….Right.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I decided to re-post this story under a different name with a new summary to get more people interested. decided before _not_ to show this story on the search engine unless people actually go to my profile (some kind of error, I dunno). So, I'm going to try once more to get this out there for everyone to see. Oh, and I already have the second chapter written so please leave a review so I can post it soon …

Love to all

CrimsonAnjel

**p.s.** I will not tolerate any flamers. I thoroughly dislike close-minded people who don't have anything better to do than say useless things to hard working writers… However, I do except _constructive criticism_ and even commend those who have some. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thanks to all who reviewed me so far! You don't know how awesome it is to check my email and see your comments. Enjoy!

**Review Replies:**

**Neo-Chan: **Here it is for you! I don't like to keep people waiting.

**Hikkix2: **Thank you! I'm glad you liked the chapter, and here is you update .

**Puppeh: **Thank you for writing a realistic review (I appreciate it when reviewers don't butter me up all the time just as much, if not more than when they do.) I will try hard to make this story un-cliché. Enjoy!

**Hogo-chan: **Hey you! I didn't think you'd read a Digimon fic, so thanks for the vote of confidence in my writing. I think you'll enjoy this regardless of whether you've seen the story or not and a smart girl like you won't have any trouble following it. Enjoy!

**Steve: **Good point. I always love reading about either Matt or Tai reflecting on a fight and writing it was a treat for me. As for the swearing, I guess I'm staying true to my image of teenage boys (Being one myself in a similar position as Matt and Tai) and swearing just goes along with it I suppose. I understand what you mean though. Thank you for the review and I hope you like this chapter .

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Digimon…

**Warnings for this chapter:** Some strong language (cuss words shrug ) …

_Special thanks to my beta, Neo-chan. Without you, my writing would be riddled with spelling errors and verb confusions. Thank you so much!_

**Last Impressions**

**Chapter 2**

**By: CrimsonAnjel**

Warm, yellow light streamed in through the cracks of the blinded windows. Both sleeping forms felt the air on their back shift from cold to warm even when their eyelids remained closed and their thoughts still lingered in dreamland. Matt knew he was aware by then but preferred to continue dipping into the unconscious world, so he shifted automatically in the warm scented covers and bathed his lazy body in the streaming sunlit room.

But something kept nagging at him and pulling him away from his sexually explicit reveries into another state of mind. And no matter how many times he attempted to shove other thoughts away with Tai imagery, they just kept coming back, like a shadow, something you cannot dispel. All the waking events of the night before at the moment came flooding in, and playing back like a movie preview you are dying to know more about, or a song you simply cannot get out of your head.

Matt cursed the unfathomable information and remembered just from the feeling of his heart pumping blood throughout his sore body that he was in the worst possible mental and emotional shape; but what the hell kind of dream could make him feel so cold and used? Everything about last night's adventure seemed ominous to the blonde—it all felt so real that it chilled him to even think of it. It couldn't be comprehended and that scared him even more. Matt always could come up with an explanation for his dreams, and this one just could be deciphered or chalked up to anything. This one seemed oddly important as if there was something of great value he was forgetting and needed to remember… The only part of the dream that Matt come up with as proof was a flash of white light; but what the hell did it mean?

Matt growled to himself and rolled over to face the pillow in hopes that the light would disappear and fade away, giving him more time to sleep and be in the diffuse dark. He didn't want to greet anything, especially the day or—anything! And as obvious as it is, that didn't happen. A blatant yawn was heard protruding from the blankets above the floor and Tai appeared from his heavenly bed, as if waking up and sleeping were the same fluent act, and plodded to the bathroom without so much as a grumble or hateful word to curse the morning… Matt hated morning people more than he loved sleep. He couldn't even comprehend how it was possible to wake up and not want to beat the living shit out of something until it left you alone and gave you five more minutes. Who in their right mind would want to leave the sanctity and warmth of their bed for some lousy cereal and peppermint toothpaste?

But regardless of his negative views on the subject, Matt couldn't hide forever with Tai the Sleep Slayer on the loose. So seeing one move ahead he lifted up his upper body delicately from the ground and yawned to signal his arrival into the living world.

Beyond the mental issues Matt had with waking up, there were other things he despised about that area of time. He also felt physically self-conscious during this period of time about his hair, breath and skin tone—having been told by Tai that he was very pale when he wakes up before showering. And speaking of the devil, as Matt checked himself in the floor mirror across the wall the biggest and most blatant critic, the cheery faced demon called Tai poked his head back in the room to make sure his friend was really awake and not trying to fake him out as he did way too often.

Tai had a totally different opinion on Matt than what all the blonde's fears lead him to believe. He knew that he said hurtful things all the time, but he really didn't mean any of it; he just couldn't stop his own mouth from spouting out whatever came to mind. He knew he could help it----but for some reason, he couldn't.

It pained him to see that one look in his friend's eyes. That look that neither displayed strength, nor persona; that look of pain and sadness apparent in his deep blue orbs every time he said something that crossed the line. Tai really wanted Matt to just smack him across the face every time he said something stupid so he'd learn how not to be an ass. But that never happened; when he truly crossed the line, Matt didn't get angry like usual and start his superiority ploy… No. He just got quiet and cold and his deep blue ocean eyes froze over in a way that chilled even Tai to silence. There was a far off longing there, as if there was something way under the surface trying to get out; something that could make a strong soul like his friend project that look… It was almost like he wanted to say something; like there was something so unrequited and horrible within him that rather than lose the pain, he clamed it up and became truly sad for those split seconds of time that seemed like hours to the brown-eyed nuisance.

No, he really loved everything about Yamato, even his bad temper from time to time. But his ridiculous pride and ego always got in the way and pushed him to do and say things he really never wanted to speak… How could he change! He couldn't. As far as Tai was concerned, he was stuck this way; trapped in that body of his that caused him so much trouble. So for now, he would be content in whispering his apologies when Matt was asleep, or simply admiring him from time to time; appreciating his existence.

Unbeknownst by either of them, Tai would always do the same thing as his friend in the morning and feign sleep so he could keep in his reveries for a while longer. And in this time he spent awake he often found himself peering over the edge of his fortress down below at the pure white sleeping beauty, basking in the morning light that lit up his pale, creamy skin. Regardless of what ridiculous comments he made, Tai envied his friend's looks and couldn't understand why everything about his body that was wrong was perfect on Matt's. It made him angry when he couldn't make decisions; he always could make decisions. But with the precious Yama, it was always a tug o' war of different emotions inside a very emotional boy.

Tai shook his head in the mirror to flick off the offending pellets of water upon his chocolate brown mop—much like a dog would do. He finished brushing his teeth and gave one final look at himself in the mirror to make sure everything was well before he sauntered back into his bedroom, almost purposefully swaying his hips in front of the now awake blonde.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty, doesn't look like you sleep very well?" Matt gave him 'the look' as if to say "No shit, Sherlock." "But what do I know; you wear that frown all day anyways, so what's the difference?" Matt grunted at him darkly and rolled his eyes—he still hated morning people.

"Uh huh, so is this the part where I tell you to get your ass in gear, or do you want that lecture later?" Tai raised a brief eyebrow at that and waved him off dismissively before searching for a pair of boxers in the dirty mess he called a clothes drawer.

"We have plenty of time, buddy. Just go take a shower and we'll be on our way." As Matt made his way to the bathroom, Tai de-toweled himself briefly before pulling up a pair of his favorite Ninja Turtles boxers. Absently he plodded over to the bed and leaned in to read the red digits.

"11:00?" Tai yelled a few obscenities and then took the time to curse the sunlight for not giving him better time reference before he quickly jumped over some crap and frantically grabbed random clothes to wear.

"Damnit, Matt! Why did you let me keep sleeping!" He shrugged and proceeded to pull on some pants from his bag and grabbed a random shirt he deemed as clean.

Tai shook his head irritably and mumbled some more choice words under his breath…The day could only get better…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two very annoyed teenagers sat with arms crossed upon a bench by the skate park. Both of them had nothing left to do as they waited, with skating long forgotten in their annoyed state. It was a perfect day to be out there having fun, but no, they had to wait and wait until their idiot siblings/friends arrived before they could continue warming up. One of the two stood abruptly from her seat and stated her opinion on the current problem.

"TK, you said your brother was going to be here an hour ago. We have to go in like ten minutes to get to the competition on time. Matt and my lazy-ass brother can space anything out, I swear." Kari's friend Takeru, or TK as most of his friends called him, nodded his head in concurrence as he tapped his skateboard to his shoe absently.

"No worries Kari, they'll show. Trust me, Tai is _not_ one to miss a chance at showing up X-squad, and neither is Matt. I bet they just slept in or whatever… Look, if they aren't here in ten minutes we'll leave and hopefully they'll meet us at the course, kay?" Kari sighed and nodded. Why did her brother always have to be late?

Fortunately for them, the empty seats didn't remain empty for long as the familiar rolling sound came closer to the bench. With a loud crash two slightly frazzled teenage boys-one being the older sibling of Kari and the other being the older sibling of Takeru-pulled up in a heap, resting on one another's shoulder for air. It was obvious that both of the late culprits had hauled major ass to get to the meeting spot remotely on time, which didn't go unnoticed by TK.

"Hey guys! We thought you were dead or something." Both fatigued boys looked up at him like he was explaining the alphabet.

"We were dead." Both boys laughed nervously and continued heaving in and out for breath.

"Try setting your alarm clock next time, okay Taichi?" Tai looked up sheepishly at his narrow-eyed sister (who never used his full name useless she was serious) before breaking out into an infectious grin that soon had all the party grinning like mad. Tai stood up fully and clapped his best friend on the back

"You know guys, we still have a few minutes left to run over some drills before we've gotta head out. In fact, all of you could use some last minute pointers from the master himself!" That one received shoulder punches from all of his friends.

"Yeah Matt, please give us some pointers!" Everyone besides Tai laughed at that before even he couldn't stop the giggling forcing itself from his throat.

"You guys suck…Ass. But anyway, c'mon, we got ten minutes to get ready and then it'll be time to do what?" Kari piped in.

"Kick ass?"

"Yes! Kick ass! Now, move move move!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The orange sun that greeted every day with a kiss was on its last leg to say goodbye, now holding darker, more vibrant shades of color within its mastery. The wondrousness of the hues streaming off its waning shape captured the eyes of anyone who had the fortune to be outdoors at the time.

For Tai, the sun was a warm piece of glowing shit; at least, right then that's what it looked like to him. As he walked in companionable silence with his best friends along the sidewalk home, all that could occupy his thoughts were the lamentable day's events.

He just couldn't wrap his damn head around it! Everything was going so well, and they were doing so great—Hell, they were killing the competition. But this wouldn't be a reason to sulk now would it? What kept Tai quiet and frowning was the replaying image in his mind of how he completely _fucked up_ the most important trick at the most important time. He was supposed to be the best, damnit! To Tai, winning was everything… This was the only thing in his pathetic life he put passion into, and today he had gone and messed it all up for everyone.

He absolutely hated losing. And it wasn't even the actual act of losing; Tai hated the disappointment he felt from others when he lost at anything, whether it was bad grades or losing a skateboarding competition. It was a complete kick in the face… Why? Why did he put all of his time and energy into something when he couldn't even be good at it? Skateboarding was the only thing he had going for him considering his grades and how much money his parents could give for college. He didn't even want to look up from the ground and confront his comrades eye to eye; they would give him the look that everyone had given him since childhood. The cold look of disappointment and dislike that so many other people had given him. The look that told him that he had failed and always would… And boarding was the last thing he was good at or had a chance to succeed in; that was it. He tried playing guitar and couldn't even strum out a chord. He thought he was the best soccer player alive until his very own coach told him that he had no skill and that he should just quit. So he did.

The outer confidence, all the talking and annoyance and badgering wasn't just his personality—it was his comfort. It was the only way he could validate his existence and get people to recognize him. He had to keep filling the insatiable hole with more trouble and nonsense just to feel that he was alive and know that he served a purpose, even if that purpose was a negative one.

Tai looked up out of the corner of his eyes at his three companions. They were it. Those three were the only three people to ever give two shits about him no matter what he was good at. All three of them loved him like a brother and Kari loved him like a friend and a brother. He had been kicked down so many times only to get back up again with more scars.

'I just hope that they can forgive me…'

Matt looked up from his intense staring at the ground to check on his friend. After the competition a few hours beforehand he knew that Tai would take all the blame and hurt upon himself and live in the agony he had slipped into so many times over the years. He couldn't blame him though. It really was so much easier to lay down in grief than to try and fight it. Regardless of how well Tai hid all his pain, Matt could see it all just the same. He was closer to him than a brother and knew everything about him. He knew that when Tai's head was lowered enough for his bangs to shadow his face like it was then that he was thinking about the past, or that when it was held up high towards the sky that he was thinking of future prospects.

He also knew that although Tai never admitted it, he always loved to have his back rubbed in slow circles when he was down. So Matt did just that. He walked over to his friend with a warm smile, so uncharacteristic of his persona and started to rub his warm back in slow circles.

Tai raised his head slightly, wiping some residue out from his eyes as he felt the soft feminine fingers trace his back telling him that everything was all right. He knew that he'd be okay… If his Yamato Ishida stayed by his side and loved him the same as he always had, he would be okay. He would be fine.

"Thanks… Yama."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Yay! Another one down! I really like how this chapter turned out and I hope it motives you to tell me what you think and give me more suggestions. After all, this story is for you.

Love

CA


End file.
